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BUILDING_ROME

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[19 Sep 2006|04:49am]
i believe my last post was in jan
making me quite the lj slacker
and thats ok by me
ive been much more occupied with
LIVING my life rather than recording it
life is different nowadays and i dont find
myself looking back nearly as often as I use
to, i haven't found myself at my ole stomping
grounds in well....eight months or so
that seems a bit bizarre exspecially since
im returning next month...we'll see how that
spans out
as far as a real update on my life
well...life is life
and for me to boast about how amazing it has been
would just crumble lets says a couple days
from now when im having a really bad day
and then after a bottle of wine i convince
myself to write in here and complain about
how dredful its been
life is life
and its all situational and most things
should be taken with a grain of salt
but for what its worth at this given
moment
in
time
in
space
in
this moment
I am happy :)

goodnight goodmorning goodbye
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[25 Dec 2005|02:55am]
[ mood | awake ]
[ music | ryan adams-cold roses ]

merry christmas.

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i get scared when it seems like the whole world is asleep [08 Dec 2005|05:08pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

"you're in that place....
in your mind.....
where i can't get to you"

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[05 Dec 2005|04:13am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Dear Weather Wizard,

I realize you are
very busy with hurricane
season ending and all but
if its possible in the very
near future could you maybe
please bring me a little snow?


With high hopes
and bushels of p&qs,

me

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[01 Dec 2005|03:40am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Most times Im perfectly fine with putting others happiness in front of mine. Its a habit Ive adapted to quite easily. Abiding my the motto " others happiness with bring you happiness" but what if one time out of those times the others are wrong, would they still be right, just because it makes them happy?

and if so when if EVER does anyone look out for my happiness?????

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lucy. [27 Oct 2005|12:57am]
[ mood | giddy ]
[ music | horsetheband ]

Now all the other children living in or near her building ran around like tyrants, soaking up the open fire hydrants. they would say, 'hey little lucy, wanna come jump double dutch?'
lucy would pause, look, grin and say, 'i'm busy, thank you much.'
well, well, one year passed and believe it or not she covered every last inch of the entire sidewalk, and she stopped.
'lucy, after all this, you're just giving in today??'
she said, 'i'm not giving in, i'm finished,' and walked away.

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Brick Two [03 Aug 2005|12:21am]
[ mood | restless ]
[ music | byob-soad ]

We'll put that old record on
And dance to your favorite song
The one that I wish I made
But wouldn't ever play
Because of the war in me
That killed my self-esteem
But somehow when I'm with you
My state of mind improves
And I won't need that medicine
To concentrate again

And I know it isn't fair
To expect you to care
For someone who won't get well
I think we can both tell
That this the final night
To get this goodbye right
So I hope that when I leave
You will still think of me
Not as I am today
But as someone you wanted to stay
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Brick One [02 Aug 2005|03:19am]
[ mood | contemplative ]
[ music | damien rice ]

Self-destruction seems a lot less unactractive after you've dressed it up a little.
Like a tomboy in a thick coat of make up and a mini-skirt for the first time.
Everyone's so distracted by the innitial shock of the situation that they forget to really look any deeper than it's surface.

Just how every joke harbors even the slightest bit of truth. You can pull it off as a casual thing - but you know and I know that in your heart - the only thing that's breaking is you. And the only people you're convincing are the ones that never knew you to begin with.

It's in every cube the rests on the bottom of the clear glass that held liquor 10 minutes ago.
It's in every drop that rest on the botton of the acid filled pouch that is your stomach.

Self-destruction is rock n' roll.
It's Jack Daniels and a pack of cheap smokes.
It's half assed smiles and tight pants.

Self-destruction is the lady in red.
The devil in a blue dress.
It's that outdated cliche your mother insists on running into the ground.
It's Phil Collins and cheap wine.
It's bleached jeans and high tops.

It's out of date.
But you continue to rock the entire picture - because its understood. It's known. There's no mistaking it.

Self-destruction is your middle name.
It's there - only, most people don't know about it.
Can't quite put a finger on it - because they never asked.
Because if they'd asked - it would have to mean that they cared.
And who cares about shit like that anyhow?
We're too busy trying to remember our relatives birthdays to give a fuck about something we won't remember in a few hours anyhow.

Self-destruction isn't a character flaw.
It's not anything you thought it was other than a friend you can't get rid of.
A lover you used to know.
A promising relationship - backfired.


Who in the fuck said Rome was built in a day anyway?
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